A child comes into this world with a very small brain that contains some racial memory and basic survival instincts or fundamental unconscious desires. In the early few years of life, children see or observe this world through the eyes of their parents, as kids don’t have their own intellect. Their mind is like a clean slate and the parents or environment (family, teachers and friends) is majorly responsible for whatever will be written on it. So, before we understand secrets of raising a confident child, we must understand where does it come from? And What sow the seeds of confidence in the mind of a kid?
I believe there are two major factors that breed confidence:
- Behaviour of parents
- Feeling of accomplishment
Ideal behaviour of parents to instil confidence in their kids.
- Parents must understand that- “Most of the learning is not taught but caught”. Child’s mind does not learn much from what you say, but what you do. If they see you confident in everything you do, if they observe you walking through life situations like a Rockstar and getting respect and admiration from the people around, they will develop an idea that being confident is a desirable state of mind.
- Always praise and adequately admire their efforts, but not results. Don’t tell them if they are the good kid or bad kid but tell them what good or bad they did.
- Never scold or insult them in public or in front of other people.
- Never compare your child with anyone. Comparisons breed inferiority or superiority complex. Always tell them, “you are not inferior to anyone, you are not superior to anyone, you are just ‘you’ and keep exploring and improving your individuality and uniqueness.
- If they ask you some question, don’t answer directly, but ask them, ‘’what do you think’’? and listen with respect.it will give them a sense of dignity and enhance their self-esteem.
- Encourage them to try new things even if they fail few times, but never impose or force them to keep repeating the same things that do not interest them. For example, if you send them to a dance class and if they don’t find it interesting then don’t impose it on them.
- Protect your child from child abuse. It’s a horrible reality that 1 in every 10 kids suffers from child abuse. Parents must educate and equip children to protect themselves against such abuses.
- Don’t be over protective. Let them fail, let them fall, let them feel pain and let them again stand on their feet. Teach them that if you aren’t making mistakes you aren’t trying and at the same time you must learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them.
- Get them in the company of confident people. Encourage them to introduce themselves confidently to other people or guests. Tell them stories on self-confidence. Good inspirational stories help greatly to instil confidence in kids.
- Don’t criticise them too much, this can lead them to low-self-esteem.
- Teach them to be competent but also teach them the importance of values, love and cooperation.
- Help them identify what they are good at and encourage them to develop that skill or talent, instead of imposing your own unfulfilled ambitions. When they improve their talent or skill they get feeling of accomplishment and this boost their confidence in other fields as well. Always remember- “if you judge a fish by its ability to climb tree, it will live all its life believing itself a fool”- Albert Einstein